maybe this year ill find a boyfriend [audience laughs in the background]

Reblogged 29 minutes ago with 263,208 notes

urtube:

I’m not inviting my parents to my wedding because they didn’t invite me to theirs :(

Reblogged 29 minutes ago with 32,296 notes

ghostrightsactivist:

cakeandrevolution:

I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.

to catch a redditor

Reblogged 30 minutes ago with 108,922 notes

pretentiouspelican:

ultra mega grouchy characters that are only soft around their significant others (●´ω`●)

Reblogged 31 minutes ago with 22,812 notes

danglingthpider:

castielmyspell:

taco-of-the-violets:

castielmyspell:

things people do in fanfic no one does in real life

  • smirk every frickin five seconds
  • gulp
  • stutter to be cute
  • be like “yeah ok” when asked to call someone “daddy”
  • chuckle gently
  • chuckle in general
  • make simple misunderstandings into the biggest bitch fest you will ever experience
  • NO ONE CHUCKLES IT DOESN’T HAPPEN

I chuckled so hard at this

fuck off

*smirks*

Reblogged 32 minutes ago with 128,947 notes

oheska:

so there was a bug in my room so i got my mom to kill it because i hate bugs and then she was like

"you have to learn to kill bugs for your girlfriend"

and i was like

"ill get my boyfriend to do it"

and thats how i came out to my mom

Reblogged 33 minutes ago with 116,993 notes

nnoitragilga:

FACT halloween was created in order to train kids for the SKELETON WAR

Reblogged 34 minutes ago with 2,033 notes

snorlaxatives:

college sounds fun and all but i’d rather embark on my pokemon journey

Reblogged 35 minutes ago with 120,808 notes

lavakid:

asexuals will win the skeleton war because we won’t be distracted by anyone’s bone titties

Reblogged 35 minutes ago with 9,059 notes

lavakid:

asexuals will win the skeleton war because we won’t be distracted by anyone’s bone titties

Reblogged 35 minutes ago with 9,059 notes
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